Acceptance beyond Approval

Last week, celebrated novelist, Anne Rice, created a Facebook update that turned into a media proclamation that caused quite a reaction by my fellow christians. She communicates that she's still a fan of Jesus but giving up association to christianity.

Another popular and heated newsworthy topic among christians this season is the construction of a Muslim mosque at the former site of the World Trade Center towers.

Both of these issues have elicited a christian response that doesn't mesh well with the character of Jesus I receive from the gospel story. 

The excessive confidence in determining whether Anne Rice was right or wrong in her decision confuses me. From my study it appears less than 5 times in the gospels that Jesus provides a quick and direct answer to questions. Far more often he tends to respond to questions slowly and creatively by means of parable or paradox. Seldom does he provide a black and white answer like the loudest and most public christian figures seem to today. More often than not Jesus went the route of advocacy and acceptance. Voicing approval or disapproval came later if at all. (See woman at the well, woman caught in adultery, Zacchaeus in the tree, etc.)

What if our first response to Anne Rice and others like her was more like what we'd hope for from a loving Father and less like dedicated moral security guards? I hold what I believe to be a very high view of the scriptures, but when I'm deeply struggling in life I can't remember ever being transformed and uplifted by a stranger quoting what they believe to be just the right scripture verse for the moment. When I'm in a place of despair what I long for most is the love of the Father manifested through human flesh and bone. When I'm lost in a funk what I most desire is your sincere acceptance of me not your approval. This is what the Incarnation, God made flesh, most represents.

In this conversation many christians turn to the phrase, “Love the sinner and hate the sin.” This is especially referenced in the conversations surrounding homosexuality. I understand where people are coming from with that idea, but carefully pause and consider the posture and perspective represented in that phrase. If I've been gay for as long as I can remember and I'm caught in the tension of being a gay man who also happens to love Jesus and you somehow attempt to convey to me that you love me but hate the fact that I'm gay, how accepted and loved am I supposed to feel?

I believe that lurking behind EVERY individual in this world is their shadow of shame. It's that inner darkness and disconnectedness we all experience that made Adam and Eve want to cover themselves with fig leaves. For many American Muslims they are forced to carry this heavy burden of shame due to the 9/11 fundamentalist extremists who associated themselves with the Muslim faith. And as we adamantly protest a mosque being built near ground zero we are inconsiderately holding that shame over the heads of our Muslim brothers and sisters.

My committed response to Jesus entails radical love in the face of shame. Regardless of how much I may disapprove or desire someone (or myself) to change their mind the movement is ultimately up to God. Tonight I get the opportunity to be with alcoholics, crack addicts, and several others who are sexually confused. They are my teachers and without friends like these I'd have very little chance of seeing what Jesus was getting at throughout his life expressed in the gospel. A life that teaches me acceptance beyond approval. 

Comments

[Brad]

Good thoughts, as always. I don't think I can go as far as Anne did, but I can't say I've never thought about it. The example of Christ staying very much a religious Jew while criticizing so much of their behavior leads me to want to do the same with Christianity. However, I sympathize with her plight.

[Daniel]

Very thoughtful and enlightened words; Coincidentally I came across this saintly prayer today and thought if we all just pondered and applied the true essence of mercy, we as Christians could be stretched rather than conflicted by ideas that are "foreign" to us.

Prayer:
I want to be completely transformed into your mercy and to be your living reflection, O Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my eyes may be merciful, so that I may never suspect or judge from appearances, but look for what is beautiful in my neighbors' souls and come to their rescue.
Help me, that my ears may be merciful, so that I may give heed to my neighbors' needs and not be indifferent to their pain and moaning.
Help me, O Lord, that my tongue may be merciful so that I should never speak negatively of my neighbor, but have a word of comfort and forgiveness for all.
Help me, O Lord, that my hands may be merciful and filled with good deeds, so that I may do only good to my neighbors and take upon myself the more difficult and toilsome tasks.
Help me, that my feet may be merciful, so that I may hurry to assist my neighbor, overcoming my own fatigue and weariness. My true rest is in the service of my neighbor.
Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.
You yourself command me to exercise the three degrees of mercy. The first: the act of mercy, of whatever kind. The second: the word of mercy – if I cannot carry out a work of mercy, I will assist by my words. The third: prayer – if I cannot show mercy by deeds or words, I can always do so by prayer. My prayer reaches out even there where I cannot reach out physically.
O my Jesus, transform me into yourself, for you can do all things.