Obedience or Attaboy's

Most folks know that much of my experience growing up in Hoosier country involved lots and lots of basketball. Whether alone in an empty gym or outside on a concrete court I put forth some serious effort into that game. I have to acknowledge that the effort and intensity shot up dramatically depending on who was in my audience. If one of my coaches was present or a pretty girl walked in the gym my posture and level of effort significantly spiked up. It's humbling to admit that sometimes I played the game for the “Attaboy” factor. Although my strong commitment to being cool at all costs allowed me to play it off, I gotta admit now that I loved the affirmation and acclamation I'd receive as a result of my accomplishments on the court.

The same question remains in my ministry work today... Am I working and living out of obedience to the One or for the “attaboy”? Does my posture and effort vary based on who I see in my audience?

As Thomas Merton says,

We must be content to live without watching ourselves live, to work without expecting any immediate reward, to love without an instantaneous satisfaction, and to exist without any special recognition.

I work with the poor and I work to connect others with the poor in discipleship relationships. That sounds quite noble and all, but the authenticity of which I do my work relies mostly on who I perceive is watching me.

From Richard Foster's, Freedom of Simplicity,

Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, "Pray for me that I not loosen my grip on the hands of Jesus even under the guise of ministering to the poor." That is our first task: to grip the hands of Jesus with such tenacity that we are obliged to follow his lead, to seek first his kingdom. The next step is so simple I am almost embarrassed to mention it, and yet it is so important that I must. Begin now to obey him in every way you can.

The temptation to come off cool in the eyes of important people is just as relevant now as it was back in my younger b-ball days. The temptations just change shape as we grow older.

But more and more I recognize that I'm most prone to a life of obedience when I allow myself to accept that I'm accepted right now in this very moment regardless of the outcomes of my performances. My effort toward impressing a culture who thinks they're hungry for 360 dunks is empty energy by Kingdom standards.

Knowing that I'm accepted by God and can never be disconnected from that complete love and the sonship that Paul talks about in Romans 8 moves me further from the anxiety over attaboys and closer to the Jesus life of quiet and simple obedience. 

Comments

[Doug Nolte]

That is a very transparent post. As God works out my salvation, I am confronted with these opposing dynamics in my life.

On one hand I feel completely useless in the worlds eyes, but I claim a false sense of "purpose". On the other hand, I ponder the significance I have in Christ and how I rarely value the true weight of that.

We have taken on several foster kids over the last year. I can identify with the accolades of people saying how noble we are for doing such a "good deed". I can get a strange sense of self importance as I hear them espouse our impact on these young lives.

However, there are days in which I think to myself what in the world was I thinking. This is intrusive, unending and I want out. Of course I don't offer that side of it when people are telling us how special we are to do this. Maybe I should.

But what I can tell you to be true, is this is what I was made to do. I think there is a part of me that needed these kids to complete a process in my life. I have fun with them, I love being with them. I would be heartbroken without them in my life. I would be missing God's opportunity for me.

And so I think it is for you as well my friend. I have followed you the past few years as you have moved in the direction of your heart. You are in God's sweet spot, doing what he made you to do. Really well in fact.

But to bring us down to earth, neither of us is immune to being a good husband, father, worker, neighbor. Perhaps that is where I find myself often times thinking to myself, "if you only knew."

Thankfully, God knows our hearts!

[Ryan]

Thanks for these comments, Doug. I appreciate you and the openness you've lived in welcoming these kids. Made me think of this prayer...

Celtic Prayer of Hospitality

We saw a stranger yesterday.
We put food in the eating place,
Drink in the drinking place,
Music in the listening place,
And with the sacred name of the triune God
He blessed us and our house,
Our cattle and our dear ones.
As the lark says in her song:
Often, often, often, goes the Christ
In the stranger’s guise.

True evangelical faith
cannot lie dormant
it clothes the naked
it feeds the hungry
it comforts the sorrowful
it shelters the destitute
it serves those that harm it
it binds up that which is wounded
it has become all things to all creatures.

~ Menno Simmons, 16th century

Blessings, bro.