Tall Monastic Guy

Adullam mountain man weekend

I just returned home from a weekend of communitas for the men of Adullam. I, along with 24 other dudes spent Friday evening through noon today at a mountain lodge inside the Winter Park YMCA camp. Friday evening the guys trickled in after long weeks at work and a 2 hour trek up from Denver. We grilled, threw frisbee, and began getting to know each other a bit better. About 10pm Friday night we watched a montage of manly movie clips from flics like Braveheart, Fight Club, Matrix, and Gladiator. This began a short discussion after which we broke down in groups of three for prayer. For the remainder of the weekend we stayed in those triads for times of reflection and prayer.

Saturday morning I shared some thoughts surrounding the topic of the "heart" or core of a man. We sifted through several scriptures in Deuteronomy, like chapter 30:6, 10:12, and 6:4-6. Then we shifted to the Sermon on the Mount in which in which Jesus realigns and refocuses our idea of the heart as he says murder and adultery are not merely physical actions but motions begun subversively in the heart.

I then spoke a bit about the lack of male initiation in today's society and how that lack of initiation leads to ego and identity issues. We finished that time by speaking about Jesus' favorite metaphor of children and why it's necessary to approach him as one and what that would look like for us as grown men. A good discussion turned into 2 hours of intentional silence, prayer, and reflection. I found my way to a nice mountain view perched beside a quiet little stream.

The afternoon consisted of a tennis tournament on the Nintendo Wii and then a 10 on 10 ultimate frisbee game. Shortly after we returned to the lodge to fire up the grill, fireplace, and stogies. A nice snowy squall came and gave us a couple inches of snow. Later that evening we discussed the person of Jonathan out of 1 Samuel chapter 14 through 20. We talked about how Jonathan essentially made David the man that he was through by means of his character, initiative, service, and commitment as David's friend. We prayed that we'd figure out how to follow Jonathan's model in our own friendships.

Sunday morning I lured my friend Wes up the mountain to lead a send off time of communion and prayer. In Wes like fashion we heard a fresh and engaging story of Christ. He followed Henri Nouwen's lead from the book Can you drink the cup? as he challenged us to follow Christ's model of serving God at any cost.

Overall, it was a great communitas type weekend. A good space to be away, have fun, and get to know each other better, and seek God out communally.

    

men of Adullam

David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father's household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their commander. About 400 men were with him.  1Samuel 22: 1-2

I along with 22 other men of the Adullam community will escape to a lodge in Winter Park this weekend in similar fashion for a little man time. If your reading this say a prayer for us. Updates will come upon our return.

dignity, entitlement, & the kingdom

Dignity... Friday, two experiences led me to think about the idea of dignity. Friday morning Vic and I visited what remains of the home of a New Orleans man named Ronald. Vic was introduced to Ronald during our January trip and Vic was on the team that gutted Ronald's flood ravaged house. Vic wanted to visit the house on this trip and see if any further progress had been made on it and sadly, we found that it had stayed the way they left it after it was gutted. So, Vic and I pulled up and looked around. We nudged the front door and found it was open for anyone to walk right in. We took the liberty to have another look around and that's when I began thinking about this idea of dignity. I wondered if any dignity remained for some of these people. Many are completely dependent on others for food, shelter, and random people like like me and Vic are able to roam around in what is left of their home. Many are forced to live in FEMA trailers.

Many westerners, myself very much included, go through life with a deep sense of entitlement. When we go to a restaurant we feel entitled to receive flawless service. When a new product or toy comes on the scene we feel entitled to have it. My childhood, by God's amazing grace, was simple and comfortable. Mom and dad stayed married, food was on the table for every meal, I had plenty of good comfortable clothes to wear, plenty of space to play, and a good car to drive. All of that was so consistent and available that I think I eventually began thinking, "I must deserve and be entitled to these things." But in truth, I am not entitled to any of that. They were gifts. The family, the food, the security...gifts. And according to the Bible the only gift that we can count on to always be there is God himself. And if I take God at his word, if all of those other things are taken away, I'll have all I'll ever need in the gift of himself.

What is entitlement? Really, what are we entitled to? Anything? The Bible says the things of this world will be gone sometime anyway, so why grow accustomed to getting what you want?

In the book of Acts, it says the early Christians knew how to live on very little. It says they put their resources together and saw that everyone had their needs provided for. I doubt they had near the sense of entitlement that I/we do. Life was a continual flow of giving and receiving.

"All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all that there was no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need." Acts 4:32-35

When life is perceived as gift and not something we've been entitled to, everything changes. When life is perceived as gift, the Kingdom of God is activated and set in motion.

Perhaps some followers of Christ who had to endure Katrina, 9/11, and other disastrous perspective adjusting experiences have a head start on some of the rest of us. I'm not sure why God has used these trips to New Orleans to stir up my soul and ask so many questions. There's just so many layers and so many lessons to be had through my time there.

In the heat of June, me and Angie and hopefully the majority of our village will be returning to NO to build a couple homes with habitat for humanity. I can't wait to experience the life and lessons with more of my Denver friends.

Grace & Peace

Spring photos

 

 

In-between time

What happened between chapter 27 and 28 of Matthew, between chapter 15 and 16 of Mark, between chapter 23 and 24 of Luke, and between chapter 19 and 20 of John? We know frustratingly little about the in-between space from Jesus' death on Friday and his resurrection on Sunday. To some, Paul, in Ephesians 4:9 seems to hint at the idea of Jesus descending down and doing business in hell on that Saturday, but many conservative biblical scholars adamantly deny that claim.

What was happening during that time I think we can only speculate. But at least we have the privilege of knowing what joyous shift would take place on Sunday morning. Those who followed Jesus at the time didn't have that sunny forecast. In some sense, they were stuck in a dark limbo. Saturday was the Sabbath, the day where everything is silenced. The idea of death during the day on Saturday could not have been more amplified than for his followers who saw him perish on Friday. They were forced to sit in it all day with nothing more than Jesus' words of promise as their thread of hope. No cell phones, 24 hours news channels, SportsCenter, blogs, or even books to keep their mind off of it. They had to just be there in the intensity of their own unique set of emotions. What emotions? Maybe feelings of betrayal by Jesus, a feeling of being conned, obviously confusion, maybe anger, probably some form of lonely depression. Likely all of the above was being experienced by the small band of people who believed that he was who he said he was.

When I zoom out of the story and look at the idea of faith, at least how it has played itself out in my life, this Easter story is the brightest example of the great pattern. Abraham and Sarah had to wait in a seemingly impossible situation before Isaac was conceived. Moses and the Israelite people had to wait in what certainly was an aching and frustrating time before entering the promised land. Joshua had to wait around and follow some absurd orders before the walls of Jericho fell. Mary, of course, had to wait the duration of pregnancy to see her baby who she was told would be the savior of all. Jesus likely had to wait around 30 years before entering into his heavenly father's work. This is the pattern of life for those of us who follow the one true God. It sounds absurd. It doesn't match up with reason and rationality especially in a technological age of "right here, right now."

What does faithful waiting look like?

Angie and I have been wanting out of this town home for well over a year now, but it won't sell and the selling forecast in this area isn't promising. We've exhausted our ideas of how to make it more attractive and sell able. What great lesson we're supposed to gain from this whole experience we don't know. And I know our dilemma doesn't compare with the people wondering if Jesus was dead on that Saturday. But this Easter week has reminded me that resurrection and life doesn't happen without the in-between time Saturday.

   

Friday

his apprearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness...

Isaiah 52: 14

the Gethsemane attitude

Some words read last night that give greater clarity and assurance during holy week...

From Conrad Gempf's, Mealtime Habits of the Messiah,

Wouldn't you have thought a religiously together person would avoid praying for something he knew God didn't want? Wouldn't you say once God said no, the good little Christian should say, "Okay, Lord. Sorry I asked"? Think again. This isn't how the exemplary religious person, Jesus, acts. Having gone through these three stages--(1) affirming the relationship, ("Abba, Father") (2) questioning and pushing back on the specifics, (3) acknowledging God's will over his own---he did not get off his knees and get on with life cheerfully, everything hunky dory. Look at Mark 14:39: "Once more he went and prayed the same thing." (p.168)

Faith does not shelve the questions, or hide objections to the way things are. Faith is about wrestling with those questions and objections. Faith is not stopping short of the questions and the despair; faith is about moving past them as Jesus did in his prayer in the garden at the center of time. Everything turns upon this attitude of Jesus in Gethsemane, and the way he acts on it (through trial and crucifixion) and the way his Father acts on it (on Easter morning). (p.170)

"Deeply moved"

In John's account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, twice he mentions that Jesus was "deeply moved." (John 11: 33-38) Well, "deeply moved" isn't very descriptive to me? That could mean a lot of things. So, I got my Greek Lexicon out this morning to investigate this "deeply moved" idea. After investigating further, I think Eugene Peterson says it well in The Message, "...a deep anger welled up within him..." At the very least, the experience of raising Lazarus from the dead created an extremely emotional agitation for Jesus. But why was he so agitated by this experience? He did say just a couple days earlier that Lazarus was dead and that he would bring him back (John 11:11).

Perhaps he was so moved out of compassion for his friends Martha and Mary after seeing them so upset or maybe all this activity surrounding Lazarus's death was causing him to think of what he himself would be experiencing in just a few short days ahead. It's easy to forget that this miraculous resurrection happened immediately before he would saddle a donkey and ride it into Jerusalem.

As he stands in front of Lazarus's tomb, before he tells his friend to come out, what might be going through his mind? Could he be dwelling on anxieties about death or Roman crucifixion tactics. The author of Hebrews reminds us that our Great High Priest was made like us in every way. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin." (Hebrews 4: 15)

So, maybe he was thinking of the pain and anguish he would experience on our behalf in the days to come. The same anguish that would cause him to sweat profusely and cry out to the father in the garden of Gethsemane. Or maybe his anguish is over all the people who seem blinded to the very things that will set them free. In Luke's account we see that immediately before he enters Jerusalem, he weeps over the entire city of Jerusalem and says, "If you, even you, had known on this day what would bring you peace..."

What exactly, "deeply moved," means here I'm not sure. But i believe in his last days here on earth all of the gospel author's reveal something very important...He was like us. Not only did he take on a body, but he took on our emotions and feelings, maybe even some of our fear, worry, and anxiety. And even amidst all the wild emotions and inner conflict an overriding feeling of compassion for people and an unwavering obedience to his father compel him to ride into Jerusalem.